Fun times lately with so much I wish I would have captured. I now have a few posts that I’d like to get up. Here’s a bit from a recent email that includes several aspects of my recent journey. Just a reminder to myself.
Ha, This message reminds me of Twain “I would have sent a shorter message, but I didn’t have the time.” So, you get a bit of a brain dump.
I actually think that you trying to understand this one might get in the way of it.
I suggest that you just do stuff, and if it works, then feel free to figure and explore theories of why.
There is no “more effective, or better” mantra. I suspect that self affirmation is a similar process, but also different in certain aspects because it crosses over into chanting. You can find this information on your own, as to why chanting might work. I think, at the end of a search through why things might work, you’ll find a lot of interconnected and interrelated “stuff”, that doesn’t give you an answer. As in religion, do not let the sect obscure the path: meaning, no specific idea or believe is the answer, and worrying about which is best, takes away energy from actually doing something.
My guess is that another thing you might face is the feeling of “not good enough”. I don’t have time to go into this and what I think that means in terms of your processing, but I know you well enough that even if this isn’t the “biggest” rock, it’s “a” rock. Moving it should help. If you can’t move it, then walk around it for awhile. You can always go back behind it. This pattern likely reflects a need to get this very important part of being a “better” you, “right”, because you feel you are not “best” and “right”. The part we don’t have time to go into is a deep discussion of how this might work and how it might play out. Again, I think it’s best that you just roll with it, and do something that may not sit well given the way you process.
My intent in reading what you come up with is not to judge the substance. If you write, “I am a blue monkey”, then that is fine. My read would only be to pay attention to the quality and nature of the words in terms of positive focus, first person, and present moment. I am doing this only because I have a belief that people are very poor at being in the moment. Me included.
Another aside worth a much longer discussion: most thinking is not in the moment. In fact, very little of it is. I like thinking. I think I’m good at thinking. It doesn’t help me be authentic in the moment.
Another reason to avoid the temptation to look elsewhere and learn. I hope that what you are doing is foundational, and therefore can’t be from any source other than you. To the extent it isn’t “you” it is a false foundation that eventually could limit your growth, and keep you from obtaining that which best fits your true nature.
I also think that much of our similar perspective is because we operate through the mind, in ways that are so subtle that we don’t even realize it. This is of course, a personal belief and perspective that I hold, which may not be “real”. I mention it only because feeding this process through the mind might be counterproductive, if I am correct that we should be seeking something different than, yet synergistic with mind.
I don’t think you will improve your mantra by thinking about what it should be. You will know, and if you don’t then write a list of twenty words, and just pick three, or two, or five. Good enough. In fact, I would suggest that if you find yourself thinking about what it should be, then just start using anything. Use blue, monkey, brian, and just start the practice of being aware while you do. I bet what happens next is that you start to shift if closer to something that is meaningful to you. If this doesn’t work, then we can talk about you experience. Maybe mantras aren’t for you.
Always be willing to adjust and play with things.
I have even more bizarre personal beliefs. Specifically, I believe my self to be spiritual. I don’t mean that in the sense that I walk around and do things, and think things that are “spiritual”. I mean instead that I have a fundamental believe that an aspect of me (and everyone) is connected to the divine, and that we are all able to develop a direct connection with the divine. So, when I say I am spiritual, I mean that I believe I am truly of the spirit.
Think of it this way, there is no way to think about whether I am of the spirit or not. Thinking about it is meaningless. I either am, or I am not. Here’s the catch however: if I do not believe I am of the spirit, then I can not experience what it is for me to be of the spirit. I can not experience it because I can not be it, because I am not it. I can think about whether or not I am spirit, but that is very very different than being it. If I think about it, then I will create an intellectual construct of either being true or false, and I am still either right or wrong about it being true or false. The only way to know if you are of the spirit is to “be” of the spirit, and sense whether it is true for you.
Given that perspective, I personally believe that you will select things that are provided by the divine. I know this to be absolutely true of the training mantra I selected, which was love, acceptance, clarity (I still use this often, but it is not the focus of my spiritual journey anymore). It is hard to explain the shifts in thinking and awareness that occurred in reference to those terms over the year or two that I repeated them to myself every three steps while training. I also breathe every three strokes in the pool, so often I’d spend an hour swimming, . . . love, acceptance, clarity, breath, love, acceptance, clarity, breath. As just a note of what I can now look back on and realize was interconnected and meaningful – at a time past, when I’m training often, and spending hours “thinking” these ideas; I am also doing a yoga practice that had many aspects about breath, and how the breath functions spiritually. So, when I stopped “thinking”, love, acceptance, clarity, love, acceptance, clarity, . . . and just experienced, love, acceptance, clarity, breath, . . . it coalesced, and bang, insight. Essentially the insight was that my mantra was there to flow through me, and to provide something beyond my “thinking” about it. It was there to provide something else, and I started to let it provide experience in a different way.
If nothing else, time spent on a word will enrich your associations and the meaning you attach to that word. So pick words you’d like to get to know better.
I give you this only because if you are going to experience a mantra, then you can not model it on others. To model it is to take away from the very thing you might discover. Feel free to copy the mantra, but don’t expect to copy the outcome, or the experience. I would argue that when you “set out to discover” something with a mantra, then you are almost ensuring you never get where you would otherwise go. You don’t go there because you are really busy trying to get to some pre determined other place. If you just experience it, then you might discover something interesting, non rational, and non linear. And if you don’t discover anything, meh, then maybe that isn’t the point of what you are meant to discover.
In the end, I think you’ll appreciate that I have no idea where you are headed, or how you should get there. The only insight I can give you is: it’s your journey. You are 100% responsible for it.
I suggest you always use your entire being to sense whether you are getting closer to your true nature, or not. In the end, there is no one who will have your answer, except you. I also suggest that anyone you meet who claims to have the magic sauce, is a person who needs to feel they have the magic sauce. I trend toward guides and teachers who are able to reflect back on me, and allow me the ability to be responsible for, and even enjoy, the journey
I am hoping if you just do what resonates with you and is meaningful to you: that maybe you’ll find something that resonates with and is meaningful to, you.
Plus, I love the new secret code word: blue monkey. I think I’ll steal that and use it.